Charlie Sheen’s Best Quotes in T-Shirt Form

If you haven’t heard what’s been happening with Charlie Sheen lately, you need to find out, and then berate yourself for not knowing about it sooner. He’s become incredibly outspoken, in a crazy person type of way. Yet, I still can’t stop myself from saying, “Wow…that man is saying a lot of badass things, sprinkled between a lot of crazy things.” Here’s an illuminating video with some great lines, but if you’re more of a reader, here a few of my favorite quotes from him:

Here’s my personal favorite:

My conduct is bitchin’, my condition is perfect.

Some insight into his life:

I’m tired of pretending my life isn’t perfect and bitchin’ and winning every second.

His party style:

“[I was] bangin’ 7-gram rocks and finishing them because that’s how I roll. I have one speed, one gear … go!” and “I am on a drug, it’s called ‘Charlie Sheen.’ It’s not available ’cause if you try it once you will die. Your face will melt off, and children will weep over your exploded body.”

On winning:

I’m bi-winning. I win here, I win there.

I could go on forever, but I’ll stop there in the interest of space. Suffice it to say, it’s a comedy gold mine. That’s why I’m so happy someone made this awesome collection of shirts. The shirts display one of Charlie’s quotes, or his face in some cases, with the text “Live the Sheen Dream” below. I’ve gotta say, I wouldn’t mind livin’ the Sheen Dream now and then, and I’m 99% sure I’m gonna buy one of these shirts. Go learn about living the Sheen Dream…if you think you can handle it, that is.

Thanks to Coty for inspiring this post and my interest in Charlie Sheen.

Bear Pong T-Shirt from moblongatta on Etsy

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything from an Etsy store, which I try to do every so often to support the tiniest of t-shirt designers (operation size wise). This one fulfills that wish by being super goofy (but in a good way) and likable.

It’s a bear playing beer pong. That’s it. As the product description notes, it will probably get you noticed at a party due to to its quirky charm (it definitely has a quirky charm in my opinion). If you wanna pick it up, you can get it for the low price of $12.99 at moblongatta’s Etsy store. It’s printed on a Tultex t-shirt.

P.S. I feel like with some accents, saying “bear” could sound like “beer”, which possibly gives another dimension to this shirt. I dunno though–I’m just brainstorming.

Poe-etic from Shirt.Woot–E.A. Poe

Are any of you readers fans of Gothic fiction? If so, you’ll probably dig this design from Shirt.Woot. It’s got the witty name of “Poe-etic”, and depicts Edgar Allan Poe’s face made up of those ravens he was ever so fond of. I definitely like this shirt–I think the name and the design itself are creative, and it surprises me that it comes from Shirt.Woot (I usually pigeonhole them as more of “geek” genre I suppose).

Head on over to Shirt.Woot if you’d like to grab this one. Don’t wait, because Shirt.Woot only sells their designs for so long. It costs $15 and I believe they still print on American Apparel.

Insound T-Shirt Sale–25% Off Lots of Music Shirts, incl. Beach House, Girls, Peter, Bjorn and John + More

Insound, an awesome online record store, is having an equally awesome sale on a bunch of band shirts–57 shirts to be exact. Every shirt on the list is discounted 25%. These aren’t just the reject shirts that need to be cleared out–there are a lot of quality designs from great bands. I’ve posted two of my favorites above (Peter Bjorn and John on the left and Yeah Yeah Yeahs on the right ), but other shirts on sale are from bands like Beach House, Blitzen Trapper, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Girls, Grizzly Bear, She and Him, Sonic Youth, Spoon, The Black Keys (x2), The Decemberists, The National, Wolf Parade, and Beirut (among others). I think most people can probably find something they like from that list.

Head on over to Insound to check out the sale. The vast majority of shirts are in the $14.00-$16.50 range. We’ve also got a page for Insound coupons to get even lower prices (although I don’t think they have any active currently).

Super Pavario from Seventh.Ink–Carl Pavano T-Shirt

For those who don’t know, Carl Pavano is a pitcher for the Minnesota Twins who sports a fairly powerful, Mario-like mustache (see the picture below). I always thought this whenever I saw him on TV (I’m not the only one), and that is why I love this shirt. Someone was obligated to make it, and Seventh.Ink kindly took that task upon themselves. I think the design is executed perfectly–the hat, mustache, and text is all that’s needed. It’s pretty hilarious.

This design, Super Pavario, is a shirt from Seventh.Ink’s new Spring 2011 Line. It’s definitely my favorite of the new designs. It’s currently on pre-order for $4 off the usual price (making it $20.00), and it will ship on March, 11th. It’s printed on American Apparel. Oh yeah, here’s Carl Pavano for comparison. See the Mario resemblance?

The Three Stooges from T-Shirt Hell

So…I never thought I would do this, but I’m about to post a shirt from the often maligned T-Shirt Hell. I like some of their Torsopants designs (which I’ve posted about before), but this is the first, and odds are, the last, design I have ever posted from the main T-Shirt Hell line. All that negative stuff being said…I really like this shirt. The three people depicted, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, and Glenn Beck, are stooges, and I’ll leave it at that because I don’t want to get too political. The shirt is just legitimately funny.

Also, Glenn Beck insulted Philadelphia with some completely ridiculous statements, so I gotta get my jab back. In case you’re not familiar with Philadelphia, the City Hall area is incredibly safe, and I’ve frequently walked around the area after 10pm. Glenn was just angry that Philadelphia didn’t want to listen to his radio show anymore.

If you wanna pick this shirt up, you can buy it for $20 at T-Shirt Hell. We’ve also got coupons for T-Shirt Hell to hopefully save you some money. Lemme know if you hate me for posting a shirt mocking Glenn and company!

Booze Shirt from Married to the Sea

It’s almost Saint Patty’s Day–that magical time of the year when it’s almost socially acceptable to get black out drunk in public (depends on your area I suppose). So I thought I’d celebrate by posting this awesome shirt from Married to the Sea, which, if you order soon, you’ll be able to proudly wear on Saint Patty’s Day (or State Patty’s Day for all you Penn Staters, who I might see next weekend!). In case you can’t see, the shirt reads “It’s Mother-Fucking Booze Time” with some barrels and wine bottles surrounding. It’s clear and to the point, and guaranteed to make drunk revelers love you.

Married to the Sea is a hilarious web-comic which re-purposes old images to make their comic. I recommend you check out the comic itself, because their t-shirts are only half the story. If you wanna pick this up, head to their store. It’ll cost $17.00 (with discounts if you purchase multiple shirts) and is printed on Gildan for the guys and Bella for the girls.

I Am the Walrus Shirt from Fuzzy Ink

This design is straight up goofy. You’ve got a green tusked walrus sporting the biggest of power mustaches and…wait, nope, that’s all the relevant information. I almost feel like he should be wearing a monocle to complete the look. Still, I have no second-thoughts in saying that I’m a huge fan of this design, even if the Walrus has misplaced his monocle.

If you’re interested in picking up this design, head on over to Fuzzy Ink (who specialize in mustached t-shirts), pull out your handy credit card, authorize a charge for $21.00, and enjoy the shirt. Oh yeah, we’ve also got a Fuzzy Ink coupon for you to save with.

P.S. I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.

You didn’t think I would go the whole post without referencing the Beatles song, did you? Also, am I missing any reference (other than the general psychedelic nature of the design) to the song beyond the title? Let me know if I am!

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